!#%&@!#^%@^!#%&^!@&^#%@^%#&^%@#&^%@&#&^@%&!@^@*(^*$&#@^!@&@^*&#^*&@^@&^*#&*&

[ Darkness. ]

[ A Powerful, Booming Voice: ]


You've heard the hype.

You've heard the cheesey metaphores about time.

You've heard about the OTHER final login.

But...




















                        YOU HAVEN'T HEARD DICK.












[ A single point of light glows in the darkness... it flickers for a
moment then explodes filling the screen with a billion points of light.
Every color, every shape-- your mind is bombarded.  The particles of light
are flying towards you; closer and closer... Your realize the particles
are actually galaxies.  You have just witnessed the big bang.  The silence
is deafening.  Then you realize one of the galaxies is headed right at 
you.  It is a medium sized galaxy with spiral arms.
  As the galaxy flies through you, you pass a billion stars and fly into
nebula and just when you think its passed you, you run smack into a comet.
The impact sends you tumbling until you fall into the gravity of a small
star.  As you spin furiously around the star you see a small burning
planet slowly rolling towards you.  Collision is inevitable.
  Captured by the planet's gravity you fall through the atmosphere and
into the moulton surface.  Suddenly there is darkness and silence.

  Time passes.  A very long time.

  You hear the sound of jackhammers and other tools.  It gets louder and
louder until it is so loud you think you'll go deaf.  Then it stops and
you hear human voices.  You can't be quite sure what they are saying, but
soon you hear the familiar sound of a shovel digging into the earth.
  Soon you can see again.  A shovel is clearing the darkness from your
vision.  You are being dug up.  But why?  By who?
  Then the digging stops, a short and bald man with classes bends down to
look at you.  Off to the side you hear someone say, "Is that it?! Is that
the last login?"
  The man with glasses picks you up and dusts you off.  He holds you up to
the sun and says, "Well, it is a login.  A damn old one too.  It probably
contains the secrets of the universe, lord only knows what knowledge and
wisdom it holds."
   "So that's it!" cried the voice off to the side, "our thousand year
search is finally over!"
   But the bald man simply shook his head.  "No," he said with just a hint
of wonder, "what we are looking for is much, much funnier than this."

******************************************************************************



















                            THE FINAL LOGIN. 























                            IT'S THAT GOOD.