Welcome to the:

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                         (or should we say New and Improvved?)

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                                   WITH A HAPPY ENDING


#include <stdio.h>
#include <llama>

/****************************************************************************
 * Program: spoof1.c                                                        *
 * Programmer: of no real importance                                        *
 * Date: I'm flattered really, but I'm married to a server in New Hampshire *
 *                                                                          *
 * This program is designed to give the user world domination, please don't *
 * compile it if you are a bad guy.                                         *
 ****************************************************************************/

int main(YOUR AD HERE)

{
double double;

char resistance[*], futile[*], civilians[*];

printf("Hello world.\n");
printf("I own you now.\n");

resistance = futile

    while(civilians=resistance;resistance > 0;resistance=civilians)
      {
       destroy civilians;
      }  
    printf("The world has been conquered."\n);
   return(0);
}

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Good evening, this is your captain speaking.
 I am required by law to inform you that I was institutionalized for a brief
period of time for displaying psycotic and unpredictable behavour.  But I am
now fully medicated and my doctors say the risk of danger is almost 
non-existant.  You'll have to take my word for it though, because I killed my
doctors.
  Tonights in-flight movie, "Free Willy 3", has been replaced with a personal
home video I made, which is mostly just a series of scenes of my crashing 
remote controlled airplanes into the ground.  Also there is a brief video
essay about why there is no God, and why my ruler, whom I shall call the Dark
Master, wishes me to destroy human life in mass quantities.
  Now sit back and relax.  We won't be experiancing too much turbulance, but
I might take this baby down in spiral of death, so don't get too comfortable.
Oh, also, I've tied the co-pilot to the wing ON PURPOSE, so please stop
complaining to the flight attendants about it.
  We'll be arriving in New York in about 9 hours, if your lucky, so you might
want to get some rest.  And remember: If there is anything I can do to make 
your flight more comfortable, keep it to yourself.
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